Monday, December 3, 2012

When I See You Smile (writing prompt)

When I see you smile... I remember when you weren't smiling. Eight weeks (adjusted age) came and went. Nine weeks. Ten weeks. Eleven weeks. You still weren't smiling. It was impossible to get you to even make eye contact. I am not one to usually jump and call the doctor, but I did. We were really concerned. And it was heartbreaking to be doing so much for you - trying to keep you alive - and yet to feel like we weren't in a reciprocal relationship.

The pediatrician called early intervention to ask them to hurry up and schedule an appointment. There is not much more that a pediatrician can do, unfortunately.

I can't recall when exactly you started to smile. It came a little bit here and a little bit there. It happened quite late, beyond the outliers of typical development. You began to make eye contact too. I'd like to say that we breathed a little easier then. Maybe we did, a little. But there was still so much to do; so far to go.

Now you smile easily. You are engaged with us. You make good eye contact. I am privy to what the opposite of these things are like; I see it every week among other kids in therapy. I am so thankful that you are now so social, so interactive, so reciprocal. Was the smiling thing just a delay - perhaps stunted development after months of  pain and sadness? Or were you on the fast path to SPD or autism? Neither diagnosis is uncommon among children with Kabuki syndrome, and it is isn't hard for me to imagine that your gut issues could have easily placed you in that group.

When I see you smile... I smile too. You are joyful. You are beautiful. You are loved.